So, this is awkward: I review my own school

So Tuesday afternoon, we (my roommates and I) are walking around the mall and realize there's a movie theater there. We decide we should go see a midnight premier together, but what? Quickly, we realize the only movie we really want to see is Breaking Dawn: Part 2: Necrophilia, Bestiality, Pedophilia, and Stupid Baby Names.

I really, really, want to see this movie. Really. I'm pathetic, aren't I?

  Unfortunately, none of us had watched Breaking Dawn: Part One: Just Necrophilia. So we all decide to watch it that night. We're in the elevator heading up to our room when we run into a tall Asian guy who asks what we're doing that night. We tell him we're watching a Twilight movie. He, surprisingly asks if he can join us. We tell him sure, that we're in room five three three four, and tell him we'll start the movie in half an hour.

When we get back to the room, my roommate Audrey shuts the door, looks at me, and says, "Do you know him?"

I shrug. "Nope. It might be Andrew. He looks like an Andrew."

So we spend this half hour trying to guess the mystery dude's name, with no luck. We pop some popcorn and rent the movie online, set up the computer screen and wrap up in blankets on the ground. No sooner has Bella walked down the aisle than our mystery friend shows up. I greet him with a hearty, "Hi, Andrew!"

He stares at me. "My name is Sam."

So in case anyone asks, I had a tall Asian friend named Andrew in high school, okay?

Also, I just told my roommates that all the buildings at Cornell have 'unique differences'. They're laughing at me again. Speaking of Cornell, did you know you could write reviews for places on Google? And that the places you can review include universities? So I turned my reviewer's eye to mine own school:

'Eh. Pretty decent place. A little old--sheesh, it's been around since the end of the Civil War. Could probably use a new coat of paint. Decent food, but the locals kind of freaked me out--I swear, almost everyone I saw was between the ages of 18 and 24. It was like I'd stepped into a breeding colony for extremely attractive people.

Also, if you stay long enough, the locals will harass you into signing up for 'classes', these horrible events you have to attend multiple times a week. Boring as hell. One of them--this 'Spanish' thingie--wasn't even in English!

The one redeeming factor this place has going for it are the parties--or so I've heard, seeing as how none of the so-called 'friendly' locals invited me to one. I guess it was me constantly asking where the bathroom was that turned them off--come on, like I was supposed to find it myself in a place this big!

So my visit ended up being a huge disappointment. I can't wait to get home. Unfortunately, they're telling me I've got to stay for a total of four whole years. Four years! Who has the time for that?"

Also, someone saw me walking around in a Jefferson shirt the other day and asked if I came from "Jefferson in Virginia?" I said yes. They asked me if I knew this girl named Erin. I responded that it was a pretty big school. Do any other TJ alums out there get asked this, or is it just me?

I was counting the months until it gets warm again yesterday and realized there were six of them. Is it too late to transfer to Miami?