How NOT to freeze to death at college

Editorial note for January 22nd: I wrote this piece when it was forty degrees outside. Fool that I was, I never imagined I'd see a day when the temperature dipped below fifteen degrees. As of now, it's ten degrees and the wind is howling like Penny with her tail stuck in a door. 

Most of you know me as the girl who likes to run shirtless in December. What you may not know is that I've got another side: an adventurous, polar explorer type side. I can climb up icebergs and go surfing in Antarctica. Or at least I tell myself that. Because I'm actually a total wimp when it comes to cold weather. 

For example, this is me studying

You might ask why I decided to go to college in the northeast. Hubris, I say (also, it was the best school that accepted me). To those of you who've heard me brag about my stupendous cold resistance and to all of those I've encouraged to come to Cornell . . . lo, let not my arrogance drag you down into the cold, frozen pit known as New York.

But for those of you foolhardy souls determined to brave the freezing north, I have only these scant pieces of advice to offer you. Choose your clothes wisely, for they determine thine status of freezingness.

Let's start with jackets. A jacket is most people's solution to the problem of Cold. Jackets come in all shapes and sizes. I have a brown sweater I love, but can't wear, because it's too thin to keep me warm. I have a ski jacket that keeps me very warm, but weights about as much as carrying around an extra cat and isn't nearly as good a conversation piece. Most of the time, I compromise on my brown fleece, which feels like real fur and was in fact part of my famous Chewbacca costume last year. I still feel a bit like a wookie when I wear it, but it keeps me warm, so I don't really care.

Shoes. Shoes are important. I have a collection of shoes I love dearly. Unfortunately, I live almost a mile from campus and end up walking that distance almost every day, so my pretty wedges and strappy flats sat in my closet all August while I wore my sneakers everywhere. Thankfully, now that it's practically winter, I can wear my boots. Once upon a time, I refused to wear Uggs as a statement of individuality. Then I tried on    a pair and never went back. Leather boots and plastic snow boots are also in fashion up here. I still see some girls wearing strappy shoes, but they're the ones struggling up the hill at nine AM on a Saturday morning still wearing little black dresses and smudged makeup, so I'll keep my boots, thank you very much.

Pants. Jeans. That's all I own, save one pair of formal pants and a dress so short it's technically illegal in 36 states (plus wherever Taylor is).

 Long underwear. This stuff is a skier's best friend. It's also a wimpy college student's best friend. Those who know me know that, for whatever reason, my pants tend to sink so low on me that my underwear becomes visible. I don't know why. But this winter, all people are seeing is that so-called "black bodysuit" I've got on under my clothes. To all those who mock me: I'm warm. I'm sooooo warm.

Hats. I own several hats. My favorite hat has big fluffy pompoms that swing in my face when I run. I also have a North Face hat I got for free at an event I attended in October. It's very cool looking, but every time I take it off my hair stands on end.

Mittens and gloves. I got a few pairs of three dollar gloves at Target last month and wear them religiously, even when inside. I have a bad case of chronically cold fingers. I also have a pair of big, fluffy mittens, which make it so I can't move my hands, but I wear them anyway, because it's cold outside.

Armed with all my clothing, I am prepared to set foot outside and bravely walk to the bus stop, where I catch the nice heated bus that takes me to campus, where I bravely set foot outside again and step into a heated building, repeating this pattern until spring. Five more months to go!