Aphids

You would not believe how many aphids live on my back deck.

Weird looking little bugs, the lot of 'em. Itchy shiny green things. Tiny walking snot droplets.

Also, there's a lot of ants out here. And it's hot.

You might be wondering why I'm even outside at all. Well, my father is sitting at the kitchen table and going inside would mean submitting to Parental Oversight of my activities. This will lead to questions about why I only happen to have 'homework' on days when family activities are scheduled.

But I digress, seeing as how my parents will probably be reading this.

Okay, that's a big spider. I'm going down to the lower deck now.

No, I can't. That'd make me a wimp. I lost my fear of spiders in the Amazon, after all. Home of a million biting bugs.

Ew, there's an aphid in my armpit.

I really need to work on this English project.