So, this is awkward . . .

I think this campus could be much improved with the addition of some cats. Preferably kittens.

Case in point

See, the nice thing about cats is that they don't really care what you say to them. You could be talking about global politics or garden gnomes. Both topics will cause your cat to look at you like you're equally stupid--or, you know, make them run away. Running away would be a good alternative to most of the conversations I've had this week. And just giving me a stupid look would probably save time.

How do you initiate a conversation with someone you've been living with for three weeks and yet not spoken with? One of the two 5'3'' blond girls on your floor who lives in the room next door? If you're a normal person, you'll just forget your neighbor exists if you didn't make contact with them on day one. If you're overenthusiastically optimistic like me (and haven't thought there's a reason why they've never spoken to you) you might get into a conversation that goes like this:

Me: So . . . Hi! I, um, live here. *Point at my door

Neighbor: I know.

Me: How . . . how are you?

Neighbor (staring at me like I've escaped from a mental asylum): Fine. How are you?

Me: Oh, fine. How are you?

At this point, my wonderful roommates, Ayesha and Audrey, forcibly drag me back into my room, shut the door, and forbid me from ever talking to anyone else on the floor ever again. I'm actually very grateful to them, as they've saved me from having to reveal that I actually didn't know my neighbor's first name.

Not that that's the only awkward conversation I've been involved in the past week. For example, when I see a couple guys on the plaza fooling around with a giant robot, I went up and asked them what it was. They began trying to recruit me into their club. I attempt to explain that I'm not interested in robotics. They tell me I can join the club's 'marketing division'. I finally just had to turn my back on them mid conversation and run into the nearest building.

I miss my Hazey-poo

Of course, the best awkward conversations are the ones you only really listen to. For example:

My Lab Partner: Why isn't this microscope working?

Guy Across the Table: Did  you plug it in right?

Lab Partner: I think I did.

Quietly, I reach over the table and start fiddling with the plug. A weird sensation creeps over my hand, like someone's brushing painful little feathers across it.

Guy Across the Table: Oh! You stuck it in the wrong socket!

I'm forced to awkwardly barge in with a "Owwww!" when I hear the "Shzzt" sound of my hand being electrocuted.

Twenty minutes later, I burn my finger on a lightbulb. I think I'm missing a layer of skin.

Hope everyone's having a great day!