Judge a Book by its Cover 1: Because I'm moving

Well, it's finally move-in week at school and my schedule has exploded. So this week's review is going to be a little late. However, I hope you enjoy this review of some of the covers of books people have posted in the Amazon KDP forum.

There's a reason it's called the book jacket, people. It's the first thing people see when your book walks into their house and, believe me, if someone with a hobo jacket walks into your house, you're not going to break open the good wine. You're gonna call the police.

So if you really want to market your book, I suggest employing a professional graphic designer or at least your fourteen year old niece who wears thick-rimmed glasses and sits in her room playing with Photoshop all day.

This book, for example, looks very funny and you can download it here. The cover art, however, is somewhat . . . pornish? Is that a word? Those glowing tube thingies look like they're under a blacklight in a police drama and I don't want to know how they got that way. Cursive fonts are generally for the covers of romances and period dramas, not sci-fi, and the font for the author's name makes me think this is a book about Christian cowboys. Victorian women meeting cowboys in a church . . . now we know why the tubes are suspiciously glowing. 

My score? Three out of ten

Next, we've got this book (available here), which appears to be about Irish mythology and a candy shop. I haven't seen as disturbing an image associated with candy since the boat ride scene in the original Willy Wonka (you know, the one with the bugs and freaky chanting). Much better font use, although repeating the title on the bag of candies is a bit of a distraction and I can't tell whether the creature on top is a cat, an otter, or a polar bear. Simple, elegant, creepy (in a good way)

My score? Eight out of ten.

Next, we've got this beauty, in what appears to be a story about disturbingly sexy demon women (available here). I can't honestly tell what this story is about from the description, but the cover makes it plain that tail is going somewhere the good Lord never intended. Very much in tune with the style of three-dollar fantasy hanging out in the used book store, but the pinkish color of that font is just a little disturbing, as is the lack of color contrast and those huge fingernails. I look at this cover and think porn. If that's what the authors are going for, great. If not . . .  they might have an image problem on hand. I can't stop thinking about that tail.

My score? Five out of ten.

--Liz Ellor, O43