Okay, this is one of the cooler/lamer things I've done with my life.
My friend Taylor is one of the kindest vegans obsessed with rock music and action movies I've ever met. After noting the way she intently stared during an in-class viewing of 24 (yes, this was a film study class), a friend recommended she try watching the Bourne movies.
Oh, Olympic diving is on. Am I the only one who saw USA diver Katie Bell and thought 'Harry Potter'? It's okay, because the diver comes up first when you google her name.
So eventually Taylor watches the movies. She likes them. She wants me to go see 'The Bourne Legacy' with her. Problem is? The Olympics are on. I don't have time to watch movies. Unless I undertook the Herculean feat of watching even more TV, there was no way I'd be able to watch all three movies in time to catch the midnight premier tonight.
And yet, this morning, I had the gold in my sight. I knew I could make it.
8:45 AM: Boot up 'The Bourne Identity' on my Kindle Fire. Mom pops in to tell me to start packing for school. I nod and smile.
9:15 AM: In the middle of the first of many, many car chases, Mom comes back. Asks why I haven't started packing yet. Like a Treadstone assassin dodging a punch, I dodge the question. "Um. I got distracted," I say, pointing to my Kindle. I hit pause and start packing.
9:30 AM: Mom announces she's leaving to run some errands. Says she wants to see major progress when she returns. I nod, hop back in bed, and return to Paris with Jason and Marie.
11:00 AM: Finish 'Identity'. Download 'Supremacy'.
11:20 AM: Freak out. Curse assassins, the director, and the nature of the universe.
11:30 AM: Mom returns. Says she's making lunch. Asks if I want some soup. I walk downstairs, Kindle in hand, and wave apologetically at the screen. I get a weird look as I proceed to eat with one hand and hold Kindle in other. More car chases. I start wondering why the CIA gets surprised every time Bourne kills the guy sent to kill him. Really. I also start wondering why they keep chasing him with cars. And why the police cars are always going in the opposite direction.
12:00 PM: Is forced to pack. Shoves clothing in bags. Digs out long underwear, spandex, sweaters (it's cold in New York)
12:30 PM: Back to Bourne! Sheesh, can't the CIA leave the poor dude alone?
1:30 PM: Finish 'Supremacy'. Download 'Ultimatum'.
2:00 PM: Mom tells me I can't watch the Olympics until I finish packing. Holds Kindle in hand while shoving clothing into bags as Bourne guides a journalist through a train station. Journalist gets shot. Should have listened to Bourne, the fool.
2:30 PM: Sneaks down to basement to watch USA v. Japan in women's soccer finals. Watches Bourne on one screen, Olympics on the other.
2:31 PM: Achieves inner peace.
4:00 PM: Finish 'Ultimatum'. Still not sure where the ultimatum occurs in the movie. Actually, I don'tremember much of anything, save that it was awesome and Borne survives to the end. Hooray! Call Taylor. Tell her how much I loved the moves.
Destiny Hooker is a horrible name for a child.
Anyway, my chat with Taylor involves me asking her to go to the midnight premier of 'Legacy' with me. Since that happens to be in less then six hours, she is a little skeptical of my abilities to get tickets. She tells me to call her if I can find any.
She never should have doubted :)
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